A Daughter’s Journey to Finding the Perfect Care
In the quiet lanes of Sussex, Catherine, a self-employed counsellor, found herself facing an unexpected and challenging chapter. For over a decade, her mother had been living with dementia, a journey that, while slow, had gradually increased her dependence.
Catherine’s father had been her mother’s primary caregiver, with some support from Catherine and her sister for household tasks and errands. Life, though altered by dementia, had found its rhythm. Then, in August 2024, everything changed when her father passed away suddenly.
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“We were suddenly found ourselves in a position where we knew that Mum couldn’t manage on her own at home,” Catherine recalls. The immediate days were a blur of shock and grief, coupled with the urgent need to find a safe and nurturing environment for her mother.
The Urgent Search for the Right Support
Catherine and her sister explored their options, consulting Adult Social Care. The choices laid out were clear: a care home, visiting carers, or live-in care. For Catherine and her sister, their mother’s desire to remain in her cherished home was paramount. “Both Mum and Dad had always said they’d rather stay at home for as long as possible,” Catherine explains.
An impromptu “trial” solidified their decision. Just a few days after her father’s passing, Catherine’s mother, believing she was fine, asked her daughters to leave for the night. Within an hour and a half, a concerned neighbour called – Catherine’s mother had unexpectedly left the house. “That really showed us that she wasn’t safe on her own at all,” Catherine remembers.
With the immediate need for round-the-clock care, Catherine began her search for a live-in care provider. She received a few recommendations from Adult Social Care, but after reviewing online feedback, The Live In Care Company stood out. “We looked at the feedback on the websites, and The Live In Care Company was the only one that we contacted,” Catherine says, highlighting the trust inspired by positive reviews.
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A Calm and Gentle Approach
Catherine quickly connected with a team member who guided her through the process. “She just took me through some things, answered some questions I had, and then sent me a form to fill in,” Catherine recounts. The Live In Care Company then presented several carer profiles, complete with video introductions. This personal touch was a game-changer. “What I really liked was there wasn’t just a kind of description of them; there were the videos so you could hear people talking and kind of get a feel for them,” she explains.
Both Catherine and her sister independently gravitated towards the same carer: Ika. “She just looked really calm, really steady, really experienced and capable and kind,” Catherine says, her voice filled with appreciation. Despite a slight delay due to Ika’s prior short-term commitment, Catherine and her sister were willing to wait. “We decided that we would wait… until she could start just because we… were able to kind of cover between us being there and she was such good match.”
Settling In: A Journey of Patience and Partnership
The initial weeks were not without their challenges. Losing her husband of over 70 years, combined with her short-term memory loss, left Catherine’s mother distressed and often unaware of why Ika was in her home. “Mum rang up a lot to say, ‘Where’s Dad? Why is this person in my house?'” Catherine admits.
However, Ika’s patient and empathetic approach, coupled with strong communication with Catherine and her sister, gradually fostered a sense of stability. Ika found gentle ways to reassure Catherine’s mother, explaining her presence as temporary support. “She just steps in when Mum needs help, and the rest of the time she kind of steps back a bit,” Catherine observes, noting Ika’s respectful balance of presence and independence.
Eight months on, the transformation is remarkable. While her mother’s short-term memory remains a challenge, a recent break for Ika revealed a deeper connection. “I was there when Ika came back, I could see the recognition in Mum’s face ’cause she made some comment about her hair,” Catherine shares. “They’ve established a really nice sort of relationship.”
The Comfort of Home
The benefits of live-in care extend beyond just the daily routines. For Catherine and her sister, visiting their mother in her own home is a world apart from the alternative. “You never get that sort of in-room, communal lounge or something,” Catherine reflects on care home scenarios. “Whereas now when I… spend time with Mum or my sister does… we might be doing a bit in the garden… or we’ll sit and watch TV program with her, or just sit and chat.”
Her mother can still enjoy her garden from the conservatory, and Ika encourages her involvement in daily tasks like preparing vegetables, fostering a sense of purpose. “Ika has done a great job in getting her to take some medication that Dad could never get her to take, which has helped some pain,” Catherine adds, highlighting the holistic care provided.
While cover carers during Ika’s leave can be unsettling for her mother, consistent assignments with the same cover carer, Roxanna, have eased transitions. “She’s familiar with… the house, where things are, how things work, the routines,” Catherine explains. This continuity, combined with strong family support, has made a significant difference.
“All in all, it’s been a good experience coming out of, you know, what was a really difficult time last year,” Catherine concludes. “I’m really pleased with the decisions that we’ve made about Mum’s care.” Her story is a testament to the profound positive impact of live-in care, allowing loved ones to remain in the comfort and familiarity of their own homes, surrounded by those who care for them deeply.
